Feel the fear and do it anyway....

My first photo shoot for my new website - so much fear and trepidation, and I found out how hard it is to hold a pose in shifting sands!

Photo - Ben Assado 2017

Feel the fear and do it anyway.... This saying has become my mantra in the years since Chris passed.  Have you heard the phrase?  It was coined by psychologist Susan Jeffers in her 1987 book of the same name, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". This has become a well-known concept for encouraging people to overcome their fears and take action. I’m not sure where I first heard the line, but I’ve wholeheartedly embraced it in the last 13 years, initally unknowingly!

In the early months and years of grieving Chris, a particular situation was playing out that was beyond my control. It was a very distressing and confusing time which made me spiral into the territory of unhelpful, negating thoughts and ultimately it was a dark period. With the counsel of a friend I realised that I had fallen into the mindset of a victim – a victim of bullying, a victim of feeling powerless, a victim of fear.  I no longer wanted to be a victim.  I needed to flick a switch. 

With the encouragement of another friend I took the big step of booking an overseas trip in 2014 – my first European adventure.  Chris and I had travelled through Asia, the Pacific, Hawaii and Egypt but never made it to Europe.  Could I take the step to travel alone for 5 months?  Feel the fear and do it anyway!!  I had the most amazing experience, visiting places I’d read about but never thought I’d get to – like Monet’s garden, the Western Highlands in Scotland where my mother’s family came from, Manchester and Bath where my dad’s family came from. Hiking and attending a yoga retreat in the Asturias (northern Spain). Soaking up Roman and Turkish history. Seeing where my dad was captured in WW2 on Crete. Swimming in the Mediterranean Sea. I found my confidence to explore new places, make new friends, and tap into an inner strength I never knew I had. I could embrace change, and it was okay. Feel the fear and do it anyway – that’s when expansion, growth and evolution happens in a deep and profound way.

Later that same year I found myself in Sri Lanka for 4 weeks....I’d booked a Yoga Teacher Training with Yogarts.  Back in July 2012 Chris and I were booked to attend a training with Louisa and Lucy, but had to cancel when Chris got his diagnosis. I thought that was it, no training – why would I want to train without Chris?  We did everything together.  However, after attending a Bali yoga retreat with Louisa in June 2013, 7 months after Chris’s passing and at the time being drawn into a nightmare situation on the Barrier, I felt the fear and did it anyway....I booked in! I chose to step out of the known, and set my life in a new direction – teaching yoga. Another deep level of expansion, growth and evolution in my life. 

More recently I decided it was time to move from my home of 16 years on Great Barrier Island.  I knew I wanted to stay in NZ, but to live somewhere totally different to the Barrier.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.  I left the island with a simple plan to fly to Christchurch, on the South Island, hire a motorhome, and set out to find my new home.  I’m not sure where the courage to do this came from. I just knew things would work out. Blind faith??!!  A few weeks later I put in an offer on a house in Cromwell – I knew nothing about the area, knew no one here. And, it was certainly different in so many ways to the island!  Expansion, growth and evolution.  And can I add, it was the perfect area to get out and explore the hiking tracks....setting off over Christmas 2022 on my first solo, multi-day tramp carrying a 15kg backpack on my back. No Chris to help lighten my load...! A confidence builder if ever there was one! And more new friends came into my life through tramping.

Of course, these couple of examples of meeting fear (big fear) are not the only instances I’ve dealt with.  At times it has been a daily or a weekly happening, while in more recent times I’m more centred, grounded and contented, so fear is not felt as often. I couldn’t count the number of times I felt the fear (small fear) like just walking into a room full of strangers, joining a new group.

See the pattern?

Taking those chances, making those decisions, stepping out of the old comfort zones, feeling the fear and doing it anyway – this is what allows for amazing shifts in our circumstances, in our life.

Talking about fear with my masseuse today, she shared this – This life is like an amusement park....do you want to sign up for the slowest ride? Go for the thrill rides like the roller coaster! Funny how as a child I used to love the easy pace of the merry-go-round...now I think I’d choose a zipline ride – connected to a wire but suspended over the 'abyss'... 

How about you – which ride would you take?

I thought I’d share a couple of inspiring quotes on fear :

Fear stems from a lack of self-confidence, which in turn is rooted in the absence of inner bliss and contentment. Fear is a temporary state of mind that can be overcome by cultivating inner peace and a connection with one's true self. – Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Without fear, we would remain stagnant, confined to the comfort of the familiar, never reaching our full potential. Surrender, Acceptance and Transformation. The river must embrace the unknown, surrender its individuality, and become part of something larger. – Khalil Gibran

“Just a simple principle: remember, anything that makes you afraid, fearful, is a clear indication of what you have to do. You have to do just the opposite. You are not to become a follower of fear, you have to fight your fear. The moment you decide to fight your fear, you are on the way towards enlightenment.” – Osho

I hope you fight your fear....you never know where you’ll end up!

Namaste,

Julie x